"Oh now, Debra, don't be bitter, surely with your...brand new neo-nazi boot camp makeover the boys will come a-runnin'."

~~ Renee Zellweger as Gina in Empire Records

Breaking News...

Our boy Taylor Kitsch (yeah he's ours now) has undergone a dramatic makeover.

Verdict: I don't like it! And this is coming from me - I love a man with short hair, the shorter the better. But obviously his sexiness was trapped in his hair because with the new look he's just...meh. Let's hope he brings back the locks.

In other news....

Have you seen this new snack?


I hadn't heard of it, but tried one on the weekend.

Verdict: AH-Mazing!! Freakin good. I suggest you run out and buy. Bonus: low fat content! And a tip - don't try heating them up. It doesn't work out...

In other other news...

New employee at our local Tim's. Seems friendly. They'll knock that out of her. Our favourite "Lady!" made tea in a whole new way this morning....a full cup of water then the tea bag, no stir. It's not like the tea bag really needs to steep in the water anyways. That's just an old wives' tale.

"What makes you think I'm not interested in fashion?"

~~ Anne Hathaway as Andy Sachs in The Devil Wears Prada

Blind item:
What "admin assistant" (can't say that seriously) was spotted today wearing brown tights-as-pants, spike heels, skin-tight white t-shirt (coming only to the waistband of said tights-as-pants) and cropped, skin-tight orange short-sleeved cardigan? Hint: She had a phone glued to her ear and a particular "swagger".

"I'll have what she's having."

~~ restaurant customer in When Harry Met Sally

TGIF! But the real acronym for the day is WTF... Here are my wtf moments for the day:

#1: Lisa Bonet resurfaces
And is with that big Conan guy? And has not aged a single day. Damn her! But seriously, doesn't everyone in this picture look around the same age? Kinda like siblings?




#2: More Catwoman updates
I'm sorry, there is nothing Catwoman-y here. Mission:Impossible? Cyclops? Sure. I hope this gets better.




#3: Lacey Schwimmer is not actually playing a superhero...in anything
Which leaves me with absolutely no explanation for this getup. Is she joining the WWE? Maybe that's it...




#4: Kim Kardashian does the impossible, leaves me speechless...





And now it's time for our favourite segment: Celebrity versus Runway!!

Would we EVER have guessed this was a runway look? Cutouts aside, this dress doesn't have anywhere near the raunch factor Ciara gives it.



THIS is how you steal a runway look my friends! The changes in the styling are fairly subtle but make a big difference. Both women look incredible (I kind of want this dress...) I would wear it either way.

"I don't know how to put this, but I'm kind of a big deal."

~~ Will Ferrell as Ron Burgundy in Anchorman

Tightpants spotting! Minus any tight pants. Note to self: Thursdays, noon, patio.

"Oooh! Somebody stop me!"

~~ Jim Carrey, The Mask

Since Buffy left all her makeup at home today, she is locked away in her office avoiding most human contact. So no visits with the real world regulars today, my friends.

That being said, this past weekend was host to a minor "red carpet" event with a big celebrity draw: the Teen Choice Awards. What timing for Mrs. Hemsworth to be away! Hunker down cuz this is going to be a long one...

Exhibit A: Kat Graham (I still don't know who she is...)




Check the neckline - another sad case of inappropriate attempted nude-ity! On the bright side, we can finally rest easy knowing what happened to the tail from Leona Lewis' horse friend.

And back to the nudity.... Yikes!




Oh hey, did you hear Kim Kardashian is getting married? (*groan*) From the waist up she totally looks like she just came from a run-through of her wedding hair and makeup. BTW, who is this makeup artist she has who can’t conceal her undereye bags with something that matches the rest of her face?? Fired!



Here she is with her sisters. I’m not really sure what to say about this mashup of looks… Clearly the younger K on the left is the prize pupil, mastering the arts of inappropriate cutouts, scary eye makeup and the death stare. The one on the right needs to shape up.

I can’t even touch Khloe the Harlequin cover model over on the left.



Speaking of models, Ummmm Tyra....Silk Spectre wants her wardrobe back. (Quick! Who would win this chick fight??)



Yellow appeared to be the colour of the night. Notice how nicely it complements the orange in the skin:




Now I'd like to pause for a moment of pretty.............



Ahhhh. Like a breath of fresh air isn't she?

I may take some heat on this one but I'm actually digging Avril's look (Although she desperately needs to go back to dark hair). Still with an edge but a little more grown up.

And finally….my most improved player for the evening. Well, it’s a tie. Here’s to Taylor Swift for finally doing something different, but not so drastic that it seems out of character. Not over the moon about the dress but it’s definitely less frock-y and kudos on the hair.

And points to Blake Lively for finally wearing an appropriate hemline and looking great doing it. Isn’t this much sexier? And thank goodness she’s blonde again!

"So let it be written, so let it be done"

~~ Yul Brenner, as Rameses in the Ten Commandments

Yes fan (I did want to say fans but who am I kidding), I have handed over the reigns to the Admin Diaires to Buffy -- often implicated...never duplicated.
Welcome to the blog Buffy.  Behold...the mantle of leadership.....

(courtesy of touregypt.net)
Which translates into this in our day and age....


Blog on Buffy...Blog on!

"I'm Buffy. I'm new."

~~ Sarah Michelle Gellar as Buffy Summers, Episode 1: Welcome to the Hellmouth

As Mrs. Hemsworth prepares for one - or possibly two! - weeks of summer vacation I prepare to take over this blog. Maybe this will inspire me to contribute to my actual work blog which hasn't been updated in 3 months (oopsie...). Anyway, now that I've got my feet wet - let the games begin!

"As God is my witness...I'll never go hungry again!"...

~~Vivien Leigh as Scarlett O'Hara in Gone With the Wind

Too bad there were no Tim Horton's on Tara.....Mmmmm Extra large triple, triple and an Apple Fritter! :)

I've been cut loose again today.  Buffy's taking a long weekend.  That leaves me -- in the needy, co-dependent, whiny, self indulgent, diva lyrics of Celine Dion -- All By Myself.

So I actually watched this video from start to finish and there are a lot of parallels between myself and Celine.  I've been known to stare moodily/accusingly/longingly at my monitor, hugging myself too sometimes.

Don't wanna be all by yourself anymore, Celine?  Here's a tip -- get over yourself!  Stop incessantly admiring yourself in your mirror, stop yelling at everyone (or is that singing) and get out there and see the world.  Join a gym...take a pottery class...something!   

Hm?  What's that?  She's uh...she's head lining her own show at Caesars Palace in Las Vegas and making more money in one year then I could count in a lifetime?  Oh...good for her then.

Moving on.....

People.com of late has taken to using the word "frock" excessively.  When I hear the word frock I think of it as an old British term.  So I think its okay for our friends across the pond to use it nowadays but to the good people at People -- knock it off!  I think I'm going to take it over and use it as an expletive and adjective for fashion.  To that end I call this segment....

WTFrock!  (All images courtesy of People.com)

Observe Sarah Michelle Gellar at Comic Con.  The "original" Buffy looking frockin' good! I love the touch of dom in the sandals.  Definitely giving the fan-boys something to drool over.

Also at Comic Con....

Twilight stars Ashley Greene and Nikki Reed -- or for you Twi Hards out there Alice and Rosalie

Ashley Greene

 

I don't know...seems too frockin sweet? And with a nude shoe??!! Now I'm seeing RED

Nikki Reed

 What the frock?? Where's the rest of it?

Amanda Seyfried   

     

Not crazy about the asymmetrical hem or the shoes.  And why is she frockin staring at the camera like she's the shiznit? She's there because of Red Riding Hood!!  Did she even see the movie?  I don't think anyone else did.

                                           

Charlize Theron    

Frockin wench stealing my man Ryan and ... I mean...whatever...she looks okay....

Katharine McPhee

What the frock is she doing at Comic Con? Umm...I like the colour...but that's about it.

It was… Work Day 7: Post 7 -- "You talking to me?"

~~ Robert De Niro as Travis Bickle in Taxi Driver

I call this piece….

My one-sided interview with Glamazon

Mrs. Hemsworth: Thank you for joining us this afternoon on the bus, Glamazon.  Let’s get right to it.  So your style is very…uh…unique.  Care to comment on that?

Glamazon: …

Mrs.H: No?  Okay…Where would one buy a very asymmetrical skirt in Pepto pink that has severe pilling?

G: …

Mrs. H: Not revealing your source eh?  Understandable.  Now I notice your high neck sweater is the exact shade of white as your patterned pantyhose and complexion.  What’s your secret?

G:….

Mrs. H: And I’ve noticed you’ve paired your ensemble with two-toned, pea soup green, shoes that are a cross between granny’s oxfords and granny’s mary janes.  Seriously…what were you thinking?

G: …

Mrs. H: Ahh….I get it .. you were going for quiet mystery.  Like, you’re staying quiet because it’s a mystery to you too what possessed you to wear them.  Intriguing!

Mrs. H: Now I can’t help but notice that you read a lot.  What would you say to your critics that would label you “a dumb blonde” -- referring of course to your recently bleached hair?

G: …

Mrs. H: Strong silent type eh?  I respect that.  Well thank you for sitting beside me on this bus.  It’s been enlightening. 

It was…Work Day 6: Post 6 -- Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get...

~~Forrest Gump

Happy record high heat day!!!  Woohoo!  Supposed to actually be 31 and feel like 41!!  Are you jealous??  I know you’re not…you’d suffer.  Unlike my homie the Office Supply Delivery Guy!  He likes it hot! We agree…if someone ain’t in respiratory distress from the heat…it’s not hot enough!!!

Lot’s of blogging fodder…and it’s only 0908.  Let’s call this segment…

Fashion Safari

The Loon (Thrifiticus Storicus)The Loon can be spotted obliviously “rocking” their thrift store finds in any situation.  Regardless of the setting, the temperature or the millenia, The Loon, is perfectly oblivious to their mad cap style.  They prefer to refer to themselves as “vintage” – I prefer to refer to them as crazy!

Case in point:  The girl with the pixie cut and thick, square rimmed black glasses wearing….wait for it…. a corduroy short sleeve dress, with a sliced green apple print and velvet trim. (I am not making this up!) She paired this curtain…sorry…dress, with faux leather, black wedge Mary Janes and bright red (we’re talking seen from space bright) opaque tights!!  Tights!!!!!!!!!  It’s 30 degrees!!!!!!!

The Skater Boi (Surprisicus Itsa Girlicous)

The messy, shapeless, unwashed hair.  The square shaped, ill fitting, message tee.  The board shorts.  The Birkenstocks.  You’re a girl.  Accept it.  If you want to dress like a 13 year old boy at least do so from the girls department.  They make the same clothes only it will fit your curves better.  Maybe you’ll get a date from one of your colleagues because of the effort instead of an invite to a sports bar.  Unless that’s your goal in which case – carry on.  We’re confused.

Highly Qualified (HO-monid Maximus)

No one wonders how she got her job…we are wondering how she manages to keep it.  Her attire is entirely inappropriate for work – that is any work that begins and ends before dark and doesn’t require an outdoor office ( a.k.a street) and mileage (a.k.a. walking).
Easily identified by the contrived, matchy matchy look that always terminates in a pair of high (a.k.a. hooker) heels .  Maybe we’d give you the benefit of the doubt if you didn’t stomp around the halls, yammering on your cell phone, with a perpetually bitchy pout at a snail’s pace, pretending not to notice all the looks you’re getting – be they good, bad or incredulous.

Okay, Okay...I fell off the blogging wagon

Allow me to go back in time then and publish the posts I meant to last week.  In my defence I was giddy with with excitement that Buffy had returned!  Considering her trip was the impetus for this blog I think I'm entitled to this mis-step.

But where does this blog go from here?  She's back...but there's plenty of fodder for this canon!  Stay tuned...

Work Day 5: Post 5 -- "...But it can easily be reheated in the microwave of evil!"

~~ Megamind

Perfectly warm day in the TDot.  Went for a walk around the campus and almost burnt to a crisp!  Can an end to the rain finally be here?  I have mixed emotions about this.  On the one hand I can finally plan my clothing and shoe options a few days in advance and not have to have a back up rain outfit -- thus expanding my options.  On the other hand I may have to actually water my lawn and vegetable patch in order to maintain their current state of health growth. :(

And speaking of clothing...it's about time I did.  I've decided to a spotlight on one very interesting fashionista.
For your viewing pleasure...your friend and mine...
Fan Bing Bing
(Photo courtesy of ndakdapapayey.blogspot.com)

(Photo courtesy of decogirlmontreal.com)

By no means a wall flower, Fan Bing Bing stands out at The Cannes Film Festival 2011.  I'd go so far as to name her best dresseed!  Totally rocking bold, statement gowns, her choice of silhouettes complemented her figure to a tee.  And she managed to perfectly style her hair and make up everytime -- from finger waves to complicated updo's.  Her choice of accessories was equally perfectly paired.  It's like she's been waiting all year for this event so she could stop the show!!

But, let's not forget, into every life a little rain -- or in this case a fashion disaster must fall.  I keep waiting for something in the background...an elephant...Howard Hughes...something!

(Photo courtesy of kaybruce.wordpress.com)

Seriously people...this is it!  I got nothing.  This lady is either flawless in fashion or Google is having a meltdown. This is the worst I could find in 15 minutes.

My hat...uh crystal encrusted  turban...is off to you Fan Bing Bing!