"Wherefore art thou...?"

~~Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet

Okay...not entirely appropriate. I know exactly where thou art Buffy and of course I'm incredibly jealous. These days I'd give my left arm not to have to get out of bed, never mind leaving the area code.
You better be drunk right now...or on your way to drunk -- and yes I'm fully aware of what time it is! :P

Ladies and Gentlemen...welcome to today's presentation of...Conspiracy Theatre

PW is not in today. Joy of joys!!! Music thru speakers? Check.  Occasionally playing games when the mood hits? Check! I was only half listening when she was saying she wouldn't be in -- by using the voice command function on her tablet to set the details in her calendar!!!!!  VERRRRRRRRY subtle. 
If it's a private appointment would you want to speak loudly into the bottom of your device in an office with a revolving door and currently occupied by no less than THREE people?  The answer to this rhetorical question is YES...if you're PW (because along with respect and privacy, she doesn't get the concept of a rhetorical question either)

The conspiracy:  I think she knew that the critical meeting on Monday had a very major loose end and she decided to bail today so as not to have to follow up. Further, it would not surprise me if she didn't come in next week either just to be sure it was all taken care of before her return.  It's happened before. So naturally I have to pick up the admin slack.

The evidence (a.k.a. I'm not crazy): I have some past experience with a similar character -- "Worker's Comp". I have it on good authority this person had someone advising WC on when, where, and how to navigate the system for the better part of 15 years to do the minimal amount of work, collect the benefits and ultimately retire.
Depending on the work laid out that day -- you could predict with 100% certainty if WC would or would not show up the next day.  Guaranteed!  WC never disappointed either!

Disclaimer (aka Okay, maybe a little bit nuts): Perhaps I'm ascribing too much guile to PW. There have been numerous home life and health complaints (and an impromptu anatomy lesson) for most of January so it could be legit. 

Conclusion: *le sigh* I have re-shift my workload today to add this latest crisis onto my plate and give cold stares and passive aggressive attitude on Monday.