~~ from the movie Tommy Boy
So I'm heading back to my office and I hear my name just as I'm stepping into my office. I pop my head out and colleague says "Oh I forgot....you don't come to our lunches." Add that to a look of distaste/disgust/rebuke all rolled into one.
WTF? If you think I'm coming now you're dead wrong!
"I have a standing lunch date" I replied.
"Oh...well...you're lucky"
If you want to know why I don't come to your twice a week lunches and other random gatherings throughout the year...take a good look in the mirror 'friend'...and my office too while you're at it.
Friday, 4 January 2013
Thursday, 3 January 2013
Life lesson learned...
Yes...I share an office
Yes...I constantly complain about it
Yes...I should know better....
But for some dumb reason I think that perhaps my personal conversations can stay personal when I use my office phone. But NO!
PW: "Did you get that thing sorted out?"
"What thing?"
PW: " I heard you on the phone earlier saying you may not be here tomorrow. You know because of *** "
"WHAT?!"
PW: " I just thought that if you had anything in the morning...you know...then I'd be here and--"
"No...it's taken care of. I'll be here tomorrow"
PW: "Ok"
So she listened to my phone conversation from earlier today then waited 4 hours to butt in and add her two cents worth to something that has absolutely nothing to do with her. Not to mention that she doesn't support me in anything unless my back up person is away -- which she's not!
UNBE-F@#%ING-LIEVABLE!!!! Clearly I am the only one able to completely block out anything she has to say on her private calls -- or at least have the decency and good graces to pretend that I can.
Guess I'll just have to do what I see others doing. Take my cell phone to the hall and use my day time minutes!!
Yes...I constantly complain about it
Yes...I should know better....
But for some dumb reason I think that perhaps my personal conversations can stay personal when I use my office phone. But NO!
PW: "Did you get that thing sorted out?"
"What thing?"
PW: " I heard you on the phone earlier saying you may not be here tomorrow. You know because of *** "
"WHAT?!"
PW: " I just thought that if you had anything in the morning...you know...then I'd be here and--"
"No...it's taken care of. I'll be here tomorrow"
PW: "Ok"
So she listened to my phone conversation from earlier today then waited 4 hours to butt in and add her two cents worth to something that has absolutely nothing to do with her. Not to mention that she doesn't support me in anything unless my back up person is away -- which she's not!
UNBE-F@#%ING-LIEVABLE!!!! Clearly I am the only one able to completely block out anything she has to say on her private calls -- or at least have the decency and good graces to pretend that I can.
Guess I'll just have to do what I see others doing. Take my cell phone to the hall and use my day time minutes!!
Wednesday, 2 January 2013
Happy New Year!
First blog of 2013 y'all! Of course...it's already started in the dumpster!!! *sigh*
So I went to put my lunch in the fridge and as I pulled out my lunch bag my makeup bag and cell phone tagged along for the ride and ended up falling smack in the the garbage pail beside the fridge. Mercifully, it was empty!
Since Christmas I've been waking up with a sore throat. I was assuming it was just a lack of humidity in the house (stupid broken furnace) but it would appear I've caught another cold. On the plus side I have just invented Lemon Flavoured Neo Citran with a hint of coffee aftertaste; courtesy of my travel mug. Patent Pending!
Okay...next up...the Paperweight-Gate
Honestly, this needs to become a soap opera or a short novel or something. How all these ridiculous events culminate in my losing my sanity and some sort of tragic hilarity ensues. I'm working on the details.
Anywho...
Just overheard the paperweight engage in a 30+ minute phone conversation with a colleague. What started as a tech support phone call became a 2012 family highlight reel featuring heavily on what I would consider extremely personal issues that are a) better not discussed at work b) better not discussed on the phone c) better not discussed on the phone at work when I'm on the other line trying to make a legitimate work call!!!!
We have a government health plan that covers therapy!!!! TRY IT!!!!!!
Hmmm....perhaps I should take my own advice.
Next....Rogers...
After the better part of a year battling for higher access levels I finally managed to find the right person last year who changed my status on the spot!! I owe you from that thing, in the place, with the guy and I'll never forget it...whatever your name was!
Today after the endless automated loop that I navigated twice for over 20 minutes and kept kicking me back to the beginning instead of transferring me to a representative I got to my third live person who dared to ask...
"How is your day going?"
ME: *SNAP!* I've been navigating your automated service for the last 22 minutes and have been transferred by two other people over the last 18 minutes and 23 seconds so...it's not going great!
Imagine this in a very froggy, deep, gravelly, bitchy voice -- so me -- only manlier!
She was quite quick to give me the direct phone and email address for our corporate reps so I no longer have to navigate the 1-800 automated system again! HUZZAH!!!
All this and it's not even noon yet people. And by people I mean person...since I've been checking the stats and no one has found this blog yet. And by person I mean Buffy cuz...you get the notifications.
So I went to put my lunch in the fridge and as I pulled out my lunch bag my makeup bag and cell phone tagged along for the ride and ended up falling smack in the the garbage pail beside the fridge. Mercifully, it was empty!
Since Christmas I've been waking up with a sore throat. I was assuming it was just a lack of humidity in the house (stupid broken furnace) but it would appear I've caught another cold. On the plus side I have just invented Lemon Flavoured Neo Citran with a hint of coffee aftertaste; courtesy of my travel mug. Patent Pending!
Okay...next up...the Paperweight-Gate
Honestly, this needs to become a soap opera or a short novel or something. How all these ridiculous events culminate in my losing my sanity and some sort of tragic hilarity ensues. I'm working on the details.
Anywho...
Just overheard the paperweight engage in a 30+ minute phone conversation with a colleague. What started as a tech support phone call became a 2012 family highlight reel featuring heavily on what I would consider extremely personal issues that are a) better not discussed at work b) better not discussed on the phone c) better not discussed on the phone at work when I'm on the other line trying to make a legitimate work call!!!!
We have a government health plan that covers therapy!!!! TRY IT!!!!!!
Hmmm....perhaps I should take my own advice.
Next....Rogers...
After the better part of a year battling for higher access levels I finally managed to find the right person last year who changed my status on the spot!! I owe you from that thing, in the place, with the guy and I'll never forget it...whatever your name was!
Today after the endless automated loop that I navigated twice for over 20 minutes and kept kicking me back to the beginning instead of transferring me to a representative I got to my third live person who dared to ask...
"How is your day going?"
ME: *SNAP!* I've been navigating your automated service for the last 22 minutes and have been transferred by two other people over the last 18 minutes and 23 seconds so...it's not going great!
Imagine this in a very froggy, deep, gravelly, bitchy voice -- so me -- only manlier!
She was quite quick to give me the direct phone and email address for our corporate reps so I no longer have to navigate the 1-800 automated system again! HUZZAH!!!
All this and it's not even noon yet people. And by people I mean person...since I've been checking the stats and no one has found this blog yet. And by person I mean Buffy cuz...you get the notifications.
Monday, 24 December 2012
"You're a mean one...Mr. Grinch..."
~~ The Grinch Who Stole Christmas
Believe it or not....I am working pretty hard today. Tonnes of stuff to do before the holidays and I don't want to have to check in to work.
I'm all alone so I've got my shoes off, the heat going and the music going -- Perfect working environment.
What's not so perfect? Everything is closed so I had to go even further for my morning snack. And on the way I ran into some egregious fashion. Hey...I wore my bummy stuff today too...but I did keep in mind that I may have to leave the office at some point...I don't think the following people did:
In the category of: Almost...but not quite
This was a pair of ladies who attempted to celebrate the holidays with some colour -- deep purple and cranberry red -- paired with black. No problem there. But above the knee, bell shaped skirts in TAFFETA, are probably not the best silhouette for an apple shaped woman. Every time she walked her skirt would swing...like a bell. It was not flattering at all.
And her friend...well, let's just say I'm smacking myself in the head for perpetrating the same crime. Black pants, black flats, red long sleeve shirt and black sweater vest. It's my go to. It looks great from the front...not so much in the back. I've seriously got to rethink the whole thing. It's just too much...meh! Perhaps with 3/4 sleeves, or killer boots or shoes -- just something to pull it up a little bit visually. I'm in crisis! I'd like to think the extra junk in the trunk might help my look... but i"m not hopeful.
In the category of: You know you're inside right?
Okay okay...I'm also guilty of this crime too. Buffy how do you put up with me?? Very warm looking red argyle, wrap/cape, black tights, and black and white houndstooth printed, ankle height Sorels. Yeah, they're little and cute...but still. There's no snow on the ground. I wore my Sorels in too and promptly took them off. There's no way I could get away with going up and down the halls in them...and neither could you lady.
Though mine are the knee high, fuzzy, beastly Sorels worn by Yeti's; and yes I've spent a day tromping up and down the halls in them -- but I chalk that up to temporary insanity.
In the category of: Gah!! My eyes!! Why??!!!
You know who you are. Clearly shopping at Urban Something-Or-Other for the overly lycra'd tops. Apple shaped, mousy, and ALWAYS in the same clingy, stretchy, synthetic tops and leggings. Why do you do this to your self. Today she was wearing a peachy orange and shimmery white, thick horizontal striped sweater that had a crew neck in the front and a U-Shaped peachy/orange LACE panel in the back. The purple tank top that you layered underneath this monstrosity was clearly visible. Pair that with heather grey leggings and black Uggs!!! It was just too much. I did a double take! Can we still nominate people for What Not to Wear? It's called STRUCTURE!! Please please get some!
On that sad note...it's back to the grind for another few hours. Merry -Whatever -You- Celebrate- at -this- time- of -year -but- please -don't- be- offended- when- I -say- Christmas! and Happy New Year!
Unless your Mayan...and then...nice to have known you!
Believe it or not....I am working pretty hard today. Tonnes of stuff to do before the holidays and I don't want to have to check in to work.
I'm all alone so I've got my shoes off, the heat going and the music going -- Perfect working environment.
What's not so perfect? Everything is closed so I had to go even further for my morning snack. And on the way I ran into some egregious fashion. Hey...I wore my bummy stuff today too...but I did keep in mind that I may have to leave the office at some point...I don't think the following people did:
In the category of: Almost...but not quite
This was a pair of ladies who attempted to celebrate the holidays with some colour -- deep purple and cranberry red -- paired with black. No problem there. But above the knee, bell shaped skirts in TAFFETA, are probably not the best silhouette for an apple shaped woman. Every time she walked her skirt would swing...like a bell. It was not flattering at all.
And her friend...well, let's just say I'm smacking myself in the head for perpetrating the same crime. Black pants, black flats, red long sleeve shirt and black sweater vest. It's my go to. It looks great from the front...not so much in the back. I've seriously got to rethink the whole thing. It's just too much...meh! Perhaps with 3/4 sleeves, or killer boots or shoes -- just something to pull it up a little bit visually. I'm in crisis! I'd like to think the extra junk in the trunk might help my look... but i"m not hopeful.
In the category of: You know you're inside right?
Okay okay...I'm also guilty of this crime too. Buffy how do you put up with me?? Very warm looking red argyle, wrap/cape, black tights, and black and white houndstooth printed, ankle height Sorels. Yeah, they're little and cute...but still. There's no snow on the ground. I wore my Sorels in too and promptly took them off. There's no way I could get away with going up and down the halls in them...and neither could you lady.
Though mine are the knee high, fuzzy, beastly Sorels worn by Yeti's; and yes I've spent a day tromping up and down the halls in them -- but I chalk that up to temporary insanity.
In the category of: Gah!! My eyes!! Why??!!!
You know who you are. Clearly shopping at Urban Something-Or-Other for the overly lycra'd tops. Apple shaped, mousy, and ALWAYS in the same clingy, stretchy, synthetic tops and leggings. Why do you do this to your self. Today she was wearing a peachy orange and shimmery white, thick horizontal striped sweater that had a crew neck in the front and a U-Shaped peachy/orange LACE panel in the back. The purple tank top that you layered underneath this monstrosity was clearly visible. Pair that with heather grey leggings and black Uggs!!! It was just too much. I did a double take! Can we still nominate people for What Not to Wear? It's called STRUCTURE!! Please please get some!
On that sad note...it's back to the grind for another few hours. Merry -Whatever -You- Celebrate- at -this- time- of -year -but- please -don't- be- offended- when- I -say- Christmas! and Happy New Year!
Unless your Mayan...and then...nice to have known you!
Tuesday, 18 December 2012
"# Winning!"
~~ Twitter
Walk in today..and the earbuds have returned. Hmm...not a Deadmau5 fan? What a shame.
Hasn't stopped the paperweight from the usual inane chatter though.
"By the way...if you ever wonder why I do this it's because....blah, blah, blah. Just in case you noticed and thought I was blah blah blah blah blah...."
Yeah...I often wonder about what you do. I also spend a great deal of time wondering what dust is thinking, why atoms form covalent bonds, and if my car has feelings.
UPDATE:
Johnny Cash just made my day (JC appears in one of my first few posts if you want some back story). Thanks for taking unsolicited, honest advice! If only we could somehow convince the Ho-monid Maximus to do the same. Ah well...baby steps!
Walk in today..and the earbuds have returned. Hmm...not a Deadmau5 fan? What a shame.
Hasn't stopped the paperweight from the usual inane chatter though.
"By the way...if you ever wonder why I do this it's because....blah, blah, blah. Just in case you noticed and thought I was blah blah blah blah blah...."
Yeah...I often wonder about what you do. I also spend a great deal of time wondering what dust is thinking, why atoms form covalent bonds, and if my car has feelings.
UPDATE:
Johnny Cash just made my day (JC appears in one of my first few posts if you want some back story). Thanks for taking unsolicited, honest advice! If only we could somehow convince the Ho-monid Maximus to do the same. Ah well...baby steps!
Monday, 17 December 2012
The duel continues....
Well...paperweight never bothered to use the earbuds and opted to turn the volume up!
Despite using my speakers I can still hear paperweight's speakers clear as a bell...I suppose as they are facing my direction. So in theory my music must be heard quite clearly on that side of the office.
It's literally a battle of lyrics right now...
"Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter," -- courtesy of The Jackson 5, "I'll Be There"
VS.
"I want to kill everybody in the world," -- courtesy of Skrillex, "Kill Everybody"
Don't give me that look....my Techno playlist is totally on random! :)
Despite using my speakers I can still hear paperweight's speakers clear as a bell...I suppose as they are facing my direction. So in theory my music must be heard quite clearly on that side of the office.
It's literally a battle of lyrics right now...
"Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter," -- courtesy of The Jackson 5, "I'll Be There"
VS.
"I want to kill everybody in the world," -- courtesy of Skrillex, "Kill Everybody"
Don't give me that look....my Techno playlist is totally on random! :)
Walk three paces, turn and fire...
~~ Typical dueling rules...
Okay...so it's a running theme when I blog that I'm pissed about some office etiquette infraction or other and I've had various responses:
-- ignore it and blog profusely
-- passive aggression: move things, remove or disable things so that it can't happen again
-- confrontation: direct or indirect comments to change/end/resolve the situation
And after a brief respite...it just starts happening again. My mother said the paperweight was just doing it to drive me crazy. Other colleagues have said the same. I finally came to that realization myself.
The gauntlet has been thrown again.
The music is being streamed quite loudly through the speakers...which is perfectly fine when you're alone in the office but please have some common sense and respect and put in your earphones -- I know you have them.
Well...two can play at this game! Out goes the earphone jack and on goes the endless looping DEADMAU5 playlist! Have at thee cur !!!
Friday, 23 November 2012
"Do you feel lucky?"...
~~ Clint Eastwood, as Dirty Harry
So...Paperweight was solely tasked with an assignment two days ago. Spent the entire day prepping for it yesterday and supposed to be doing it today....but currently not.
That's because she managed to get the manager to assign it to the rest of us!!!
W...T....F...???!!!!
It's just delivery of stuff...she can do that herself. Why do you need 3 people to do it? And why hasn't she already started?!
Must be nice to be able to do sh#! all, b#tch, moan and whine my way into getting the manager and my counterparts to help me.
You walk...you deliver package...you move on. But clearly her work is more important than anyone else's and she's incapable of doing this on her own.
An excuse to wander the hospital for a few hours with no accountability?? I'd do it....IF IT WAS ASSIGNED TO ME!!! But it wasn't...specifically. And now instead of slowly making her way around on her own she's been here for the last 3 hours doing who knows what with a smug smile on her face.
Dollars to donuts nothing gets done until she goes on vacation and leaves it for the rest of us!
So...Paperweight was solely tasked with an assignment two days ago. Spent the entire day prepping for it yesterday and supposed to be doing it today....but currently not.
That's because she managed to get the manager to assign it to the rest of us!!!
W...T....F...???!!!!
It's just delivery of stuff...she can do that herself. Why do you need 3 people to do it? And why hasn't she already started?!
Must be nice to be able to do sh#! all, b#tch, moan and whine my way into getting the manager and my counterparts to help me.
You walk...you deliver package...you move on. But clearly her work is more important than anyone else's and she's incapable of doing this on her own.
An excuse to wander the hospital for a few hours with no accountability?? I'd do it....IF IT WAS ASSIGNED TO ME!!! But it wasn't...specifically. And now instead of slowly making her way around on her own she's been here for the last 3 hours doing who knows what with a smug smile on her face.
Dollars to donuts nothing gets done until she goes on vacation and leaves it for the rest of us!
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