Friday 28 June 2013

"Situation Critical!"

~~ Platinum Blonde


It's 71degrees F/ 22 degrees celsius outside.  It's very cloudy, overcast, dark and drizzly. Do you have your air conditioner on?  No. Of course not? Why would you? But the paperweight does.  I decided to go outside to check and it's definitely NOT a/c weather.
So I came in and told her we should try opening the window because it's not hot outside, there's no need to have it on, and the temperature she has it set at is actually warmer than it is outside!!!!!

Well...she popped off about 30 minutes ago.  All the sniffing and nose blowing she's been doing all week apparently was NOT allergies - according to her self diagnosis.  Great!  Last time this happened she was on antibiotics!!!!  Did I mention I HATE SHARING AN OFFICE.  Especially with Typhoid Mary over there!

p.s. I miss 80's hair metal!

Thursday 27 June 2013

"Let me show you...Derelicte! The fashion, a way of life inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants, the crack whores that make our wonderful city so unique!

~~ Will Ferrel as Jacobim Mugatu in Zoolander



Driving out of my quaint suburban neighborhood –  I see the young lady that I sometimes do walking.  She’s definitely a teenager so I imagine she’s on her way to school. I’m watching her cross the street in front of my car giggling to myself – her cut off denim shorts are so short that her giant black hobo purse makes it look like she’s not wearing any pants. :D  I was joking…apparently she was not.   
Her shorts were so short in fact that her butt cheeks were hanging out.  She would probably have the full thong effect if she dared to sit down.  I was so shocked.  I was going to yell out my car window to her – but I’m quite certain she knew.  I see your Asian card girlie and I raise you a Have Some Self Respect Card!!!
Not cool.  I imagine she waited till her parents were out of the house before going out dressed like that. There is officially no hope for the future.  Of course you see the creatures with their bits and pieces hanging out all over this city – they’re usually mature women who think they’re all that and a bag of chips and are strutting around on full display. But this is a child – innocence left behind wherever the rest of her shorts were.  I’m still shaking my head.

  Get to work and there’s a visitor ( I HOPE!!) walking around in acid wash jeans with the backside so full of holes...
it makes Swiss cheese  look like Gouda!

                                                                                                                                                                             (see what I did there? ;)   

I get the impression this wasn’t a style…these are literally her favourite jeans and she’s proud to say she’s had them since highschool and she’s going to be married and buried in those jeans. I recommend skipping a step and just burying those jeans!!!