"Let me show you...Derelicte! The fashion, a way of life inspired by the very homeless, the vagrants, the crack whores that make our wonderful city so unique!

~~ Will Ferrel as Jacobim Mugatu in Zoolander

Driving out of my quaint suburban neighborhood –  I see the young lady that I sometimes do walking.  She’s definitely a teenager so I imagine she’s on her way to school. I’m watching her cross the street in front of my car giggling to myself – her cut off denim shorts are so short that her giant black hobo purse makes it look like she’s not wearing any pants. :D  I was joking…apparently she was not.   

Her shorts were so short in fact that her butt cheeks were hanging out.  She would probably have the full thong effect if she dared to sit down.  I was so shocked.  I was going to yell out my car window to her – but I’m quite certain she knew.  I see your Asian card girlie and I raise you a Have Some Self Respect Card!!!

Not cool.  I imagine she waited till her parents were out of the house before going out dressed like that. There is officially no hope for the future.  Of course you see the creatures with their bits and pieces hanging out all over this city – they’re usually mature women who think they’re all that and a bag of chips and are strutting around on full display. But this is a child – innocence left behind wherever the rest of her shorts were.  I’m still shaking my head.

  Get to work and there’s a visitor ( I HOPE!!) walking around in acid wash jeans with the backside so full of holes...

it makes Swiss cheese  look like Gouda!

                                                                                                                                                                             (see what I did there? ;)   

I get the impression this wasn’t a style…these are literally her favourite jeans and she’s proud to say she’s had them since highschool and she’s going to be married and buried in those jeans. I recommend skipping a step and just burying those jeans!!!

A novelty button I had in university once said...

This definition was adequate then -- EXTREMELY APPROPRIATE now!

To all the admins who have to share an office - I salute you.  I don't think I'm doing it right.
A black cloud hangs over my head as soon as I cross the threshold all day until I'm finally alone for the last hour of my day.  When finally I have a moment to relax and my shoulders resume their normal position from being pinned up to my ears all day.

The constant battles over the air conditioning -- a useless invention as far as I'm concerned.
The battles over the overhead lighting -- another useless invention (check my post re. the batcave from last year)  The cell phone going off with calls and text message tones all day every day.  The speaker phone calls.
The music through speakers. The propped open door which is directly beside my desk -- not hers.
Day in ...day out.  Today was the last straw!

 First...I come in and there's already someone in here I almost clocked with the door!  No idea what he was doing in here -- didn't know he was going to be here -- didn't know for how long.  So imagine trying to type up confidential emails with someone sitting less than 5 feet away from you hanging around in your peripheral vision!!!
Then came two people for a meeting that took almost an hour.  And they were pretty loud. I couldn't concentrate and finally i just left the room!

Well...I finally did say something ... to her and my boss. Will things change? Probably not.  Will it happen again?  Most likely.  Will I probably be back here blogging about it? MOST DEFINITELY!

Hello Universe? It's me...

Officemate is wearing a really nice dress today!!???  I know that commenting will bring on an hour long speech about how she first saw it, how many stores she had to search out to get her size...blah, blah, blah.
No simple...thank's i like it alot..here.  But...it's really nice.  Guess I should throw her a bone.
Turning bitchiness meter to "Mild" and taking the plunge.....

"Everyone hold your horses, and horses hold your breath!"

~~ the baseball announcing dog from Chicken Little

The other day Buffy and I were discussing titles. Actually it was admin professionals day...Happy Belated to all my fellow admins!  Par for the course around here -- no one remembered.  And of course I forget every year because it's never mentioned around here (but every other professional day is!!)  Doesn't everyone know that Beyonce's (Girls) Run the World is actually dedicated to Admins??!!  But I digress...

As a good admin you know pretty much everything -- as a great admin if you don't know it already you know how to find out.

Which leads me to paperweight -- casting shame on the title of admin altogether.  Her claim to fame is "I don't know...I"ll ask" and who is she asking?...ME!
I'm so sick of it.  Today's example: 
"Do you know who so-and-so's exec admin is?"  
ME: "No. I'm sure you could look it up on the intranet"
"Oh...yeah...I just thought you knew off hand."  Which is actually her follow up anytime I tell her no.

Truth is...I knew exactly who it was.  But I'm not handing her anything anymore!  She better learn quick that I am going to answer NO to every damn one of her questions from now on.
"Do you know what day it is?
No, I'm sure you can look it up.

"Do you know what room we're in?"
No, I'm sure you could look it up.

"Did you know that I'm a useless drain on your energy and a waste of resources?"
Well...yes...I did actually. Why didn't you ask me sooner?