~~Forrest Gump
Happy record high heat day!!! Woohoo! Supposed to actually be 31 and feel like 41!! Are you jealous?? I know you’re not…you’d suffer. Unlike my homie the Office Supply Delivery Guy! He likes it hot! We agree…if someone ain’t in respiratory distress from the heat…it’s not hot enough!!!
Lot’s of blogging fodder…and it’s only 0908. Let’s call this segment…
Fashion Safari
The Loon (Thrifiticus Storicus)The Loon can be spotted obliviously “rocking” their thrift store finds in any situation. Regardless of the setting, the temperature or the millenia, The Loon, is perfectly oblivious to their mad cap style. They prefer to refer to themselves as “vintage” – I prefer to refer to them as crazy!
Case in point: The girl with the pixie cut and thick, square rimmed black glasses wearing….wait for it…. a corduroy short sleeve dress, with a sliced green apple print and velvet trim. (I am not making this up!) She paired this curtain…sorry…dress, with faux leather, black wedge Mary Janes and bright red (we’re talking seen from space bright) opaque tights!! Tights!!!!!!!!! It’s 30 degrees!!!!!!!
The Skater Boi (Surprisicus Itsa Girlicous)
The messy, shapeless, unwashed hair. The square shaped, ill fitting, message tee. The board shorts. The Birkenstocks. You’re a girl. Accept it. If you want to dress like a 13 year old boy at least do so from the girls department. They make the same clothes only it will fit your curves better. Maybe you’ll get a date from one of your colleagues because of the effort instead of an invite to a sports bar. Unless that’s your goal in which case – carry on. We’re confused.
Highly Qualified (HO-monid Maximus)
No one wonders how she got her job…we are wondering how she manages to keep it. Her attire is entirely inappropriate for work – that is any work that begins and ends before dark and doesn’t require an outdoor office ( a.k.a street) and mileage (a.k.a. walking).
Easily identified by the contrived, matchy matchy look that always terminates in a pair of high (a.k.a. hooker) heels . Maybe we’d give you the benefit of the doubt if you didn’t stomp around the halls, yammering on your cell phone, with a perpetually bitchy pout at a snail’s pace, pretending not to notice all the looks you’re getting – be they good, bad or incredulous.
Easily identified by the contrived, matchy matchy look that always terminates in a pair of high (a.k.a. hooker) heels . Maybe we’d give you the benefit of the doubt if you didn’t stomp around the halls, yammering on your cell phone, with a perpetually bitchy pout at a snail’s pace, pretending not to notice all the looks you’re getting – be they good, bad or incredulous.
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