These are your headlines for June 19th, 2012
Outfit comprised of body function colours spotted in the Timmie's line up. Sources confirm this was an employee, in her early 30's. Witnesses state her brown tube skirt was inappropriately short for a workplace and her suspected age and her ultra clingy yellow top left nothing to the imagination. Authorities confirm that this colour combination should be relegated strictly to children under the age of 9 and authorities will be pressing charges.
In other news, a certain individual usually completely devoid of colour purchased a white t-shirt yesterday from Old Navy. Witnesses say this individual has been jumpy and nervous all morning expecting random bits of dirt, dust or other dark coloured matter to be inexplicably attracted to said white shirt thus marring her complete outfit. Doctor's state this level of paranoia is not uncommon in women of such advanced age and other tell tale signs of this level of crazy include eating cupcakes that have been sitting open in a cafeteria for an indeterminate amount of time, but refusing packaged homemade baked goods. Caution must be taken when socializing with such individuals as their mania can cause intense levels of confusion and exhaustion in the sane.
And now your weather report:
Hot. And Getting Hotter.
In Sports:
The Local Squirrel Dodging Championship started in Upper East Scarborough this morning. Two black juvenile squirrels narrowly missed the front passenger wheel hub of the late model car giving the squirrels a two-nil victory over the vehicle. Competition begins again this afternoon and continues all week.
World Cup fever is spreading across the city with a random construction working fist pumping a speeding Volkswagen with a Portugal flag stuck to the window. No word yet on whether the driver even noticed, but a number of other commuters did manage a chuckle at the fan's awkward display.
Tonight's headline: Random construction worker, on signal duty and responsible for directing construction and local traffic causes 9 car pile up while fist pumping a speeding Volkswagen with a Portugal flag stuck to the window.
In Celebrity News and Fashion:
Bobby Brown got married in Hawaii.
EGADS!!Has this woman been living under a rock? I expect to see her on that show Who Did I Marry? on Netflix very soon.
This is NOT something I need to see. STOP EATING YOUR BOOBS MADGE!!! I know people say sex sells, but I think her rack has reached its expiry date. Time to take it off the shelves Madonna.
Yikes! Her hair is NOT the worst thing pictured here! That's saying alot!
Y'all know I love a good cape!! :)
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